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How Do I Love Thee? September 28, 2009

Posted by Bill in health, Personal.
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Would I be okay if my husband had an affair with someone else? Most definitely not! That’s the quick, easy answer, however, it appears that things are not always that easy.

In the movie Away from Her, Julie Christie plays an Alzheimers patient who falls in love with another patient. Her grief stricken husband tries to reunite them after her new beau is taken away.

To be honest, I don’t know how well I would be able to deal with it if Bill were to become ill with Alzheimers or dementia and were then to find comfort with another woman. Rationally, I understand that it would be part of the disease process and that it would not be a rejection of me or of the love we’ve shared for almost thirty years. Emotionally, however, I don’t know how I would be able to deal with it.

Sandra Day O’Connor left the Supreme Court in 2006 to care for her husband after he was diagnosed with Alzheimers, and she eventually had to give her blessing to his love affair with another resident in the nursing home.

I’ve never really felt comfortable with the idea of another woman loving my husband; I thought that if something were to happen to me, I would not be one of those selfless wives who tells her husband it’s okay to find someone else. I’d be more like Lazar Wolf’s wife in Fiddler on the Roof, you know, the crazed ghost who comes back from the dead in a made-up dream to keep Tevye’s daughter from marrying her husband.

I never thought of how I would deal with such an issue if I were still alive. With Alzheimers diagnoses on the rise, more people will be dealing with this issue in the years to come. Do I love Bill enough to let him find pleasure with someone else? Hopefully I’ll never have to find out.






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