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Gay Guidelines For The Military March 27, 2010

Posted by Bill in Current Events, Uncategorized.
Tags: , , , , ,

“On the same day that Fort Shafter-based Army Lt. Gen. Benjamin Mixon was being dressed down for urging soldiers to oppose repeal of the U.S. military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, the Marine Corps’ top uniformed officer said in an interview that he would seek separate quarters for his troops if Congress votes to allow openly gay service.

In an interview with Military.com published yesterday, Marine Corps Commandant Gen. James Conway said, “I would not ask our Marines to live with someone who is homosexual if we can possibly avoid it.”  honoluluadvertiser.com

The gays are coming, the gays are coming!   And hopefully not in our military men but you never can tell nowadays. 

For the first time ever we are faced with the prospect of gays fighting alongside straight men and women in our military, with sharing the mess halls and the living quarters not to mention the foxholes and bunkers.  Never before in our history have gays served alongside the fighting straights.   Through all of our wars and peaces we have never had gays in our military.  Until now.  Until this President and this Congress.  Until this point in history. 

With Congress and our President now hell bent on allowing gays to serve in the military General Conway is positively prescient in seeing the need to develop the proper set of guidelines for how to deal with this possible menace to our military might and cohesion. 

Here are some Befuddled 2 suggestions that I feel sure that General Conway will properly appreciate. 

1)      Gay troops must march separately from straight troops.  If they must march together then gay marines must be in front so that they will not leer at the asses of the straights.

2)      In combat zones gays must have separate foxholes from straight troops.  I would not ask our Marines to share a foxhole together during enemy fire. 

3)      Gays must eat separately when bananas are served lest it arouse lecherous and lascivious thoughts.

4)      Should there not be enough quarters to keep the gays and straights separate then rather than bunk gay men with straight men and lesbians with straight woman the lesbians will bunk with straight men and the gays with the straight women.

5)      The remains of dead gays and lesbians will be transported separately from those who are straight.  To facilitate this gay body bags will be pink. 

6)      Wounded gays and lesbians will be transported separately from the battlefield from those military who are straight.  To avoid any confusion when coming across unconscious soldiers dog tags will be pink for gays and lesbians. 

 And my final suggestion for General Conway – step down from being Commandant of the Marines and let someone with half a working brain take over. 

Or as Bob Dylan once sang:

Your old road is
Rapidly agin’.
Please get out of the new one
If you can’t lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin’.

“Times They Are A Changing”



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